


Secret Players of Game of Thrones

by WinterIsComing (CrystalNavy)



Series: ASOIAF Parody Collection [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:09:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21818695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalNavy/pseuds/WinterIsComing
Summary: In the world where players fight for control, there are secret societies of people who will stop at nothing to see one of their own on the Throne. A series of amusing vignettes.
Series: ASOIAF Parody Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1572154
Kudos: 2





	Secret Players of Game of Thrones

Everything was peaceful in the great hall. Until the door swung open. Violently. 

"Hello there." Varys the Spider smiled saccharinely "There has been a change of plans. We already took over the majority of this city, and we demand your surrender!"

"Who is this 'we'?" Cersei snorted derisively

"That would be us." a familiar-looking man said, stepping forward

"I remember you." Cersei said slowly "You were there, in Winterfell, on that day. You were Eddard Stark's sword-bearer."

"Aye, I was." Theon Greyjoy confirmed "Glad you remember me."

"Anyway, we take the throne, in the name of eunuchs." Grey Worm said, appearing out of nowhere

"For the Realm, and for the rights of all eunuchs everywhere." Varys smiled pleasantly

"What's dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger." Theon said 

"And how do you plan to do that?" Cersei demanded "I still have -....."

She was cut off as a penis jumped atop her nose.

"What?" she spluttered

"I am Theon's favorite toy." the penis spoke "And my brethren are coming along, slowly, but they will be there."

"You plan to defeat me.....with an army of your missing parts?" Cersei raised an eyebrow

"Yes." Theon deadpanned

The next day, Cersei was found mauled to death. Scattered around her were private parts of all shapes, sizes, and colors. 

Theon Greyjoy was seated on the Iron Throne, surrounded by Varys and a hundred of the Unsullied.

"I am King now." he yawned "If you disagree with this, take it up with them."

The Unsullied raised their spears threateningly, and the parts rose up as well.


End file.
